I like to write with music playing.
One of the reasons I went to college should be credited to Puff Daddy. When I was in college, I loved to listen to artists from the Bad Boy label when I was doing almost anything. I’m willing to bet that 40% of the music I listened in the 90s was probably produced by Diddy. I supported every artist that came out of Bad Boy. I went as far as adding Shyne’s album to my collection despite how much he eerily sounded like The Notorious B.I.G. I supported whatever Diddy did because in a way, I felt as though me supporting Puffy was in some way supporting myself. But in 2008, I felt as if Puff Daddy let me down, and I knew there was no way to correct the damage that I thought he had done to me, so I posted one of the very first social media attacks. I don’t mean I ran up on him with a camera at The Source Awards and sucker-punched him, but I said a lot of things about him that got under his skin.
“It’s 3:12 PM on Tuesday, June 16, 2020. I’m sitting in my apartment listening to the Butter playlist on Spotify. I woke up around 10:30 AM after going to bed at 4:30 AM. I didn’t get a lot of sleep, but it was more sleep than I’ve gotten in the last couple of days, so I was thankful. I don’t have a morning routine like I would like to, and that bothers me. But this particular morning I got up and took a shower. From there I went and sat on my couch and played Call of Duty World War II on PlayStation 4 for about an hour before I decided on what I would eat for breakfast, even though it was clearly lunchtime. Back to the blog.”
In 2008, I was in Miami, Florida, where, I believe, I was featuring for my friend Godfrey. You all know Godfrey, the guy from the 7-Up commercials and his several comedy specials on Showtime. I went to Miami two other times with other comedians that I really don’t care for, so for the sake of this story, I’m going to remember it as if I was working with Godfrey when it happened. Heads up people: I’m about to make a very controversial statement. I’m not a fan of Miami. Most men I know go down there for the women, but there isn’t enough of anything in Miami for me to stay more than seventy-two hours. That’s about the amount of time I would be willing to consider performing in that city. I’m not speaking in absolutes when I say most men like Miami for the women…but most men do like Miami for the women. (Side note: I don’t want any women reading this to feel as though I’m attacking their judgment of character by saying that’s the only reason men go to Miami. I suspect most women think they’ve vetted their man well enough to know he wouldn’t have that mindset.) I am aware that I may be in some rare company when I say I’m not a fan of Miami. Once again, I’m not speaking in absolutes. Just like I feel like I’m in a class of my own when I say I don’t care for strip clubs. And in no way is this statement meant to shame strippers who believe they’re doing the Lord’s work.
“So, here’s some inside gossip. Someone I have conversations with loves to tell me when they think I’m speaking in absolutes about certain things when it comes to men. There’s nothing more irritating than having a woman tell a man what she thinks a man thinks, or is, or should be. I’m sure women hate it when men do the same to them. So, I made it a point to let people know I am not speaking in absolutes, so that this person can see that there is written evidence of me purposely addressing that notion. I can be petty sometimes. Back to the blog.”
While I was in Miami, I ran into this young video content creator named Will Hatcher. He was the first person to introduce me to YouTube. I had heard of YouTube before, but I wasn’t sure what it was. The Internet was still young then. Will made a suggestion one night in the green room of the Miami Improv that I post a video ranting about something that I was passionate about. At the time he asked me to do this, I was passionate about the rumors about the alleged mistreatment of the artists who were signed to Bad Boy. I didn’t have any strong evidence of this mistreatment, but whispers of Puff Daddy’s practices were starting to come out little by little, accusing him of not paying the artists properly and tying them up in bad business deals. When I first heard these rumors about Puff Daddy, it hurt me because I had idolized him. He deserved to be admired, in my opinion. He was an intern who attended Howard University, the school I wanted to attend for filmmaking, and he had worked his way up to owning a record label, a clothing company, and his own alcohol brand. However my support would not allow me to buy any Sean John clothes. I was disappointed when I heard about his alleged crooked business deals because I wanted to believe his success was due to honest hard work.
“It’s now 7:02 PM, and I’m still working on the same article. I’ve taken several breaks, but I’m taking another break because a song comes on called “Freckles” by a guy named Modha, and it reminds me of Phonte, the lead singer from the group Foreign Exchange. In the middle of writing this article, I wrestled with whether or not I should write about what is taking place in the world right now, and I don’t have words for it just yet. Back to the blog.”
In my career, I was doing what I felt like was on the up-and-up to achieve what I wanted for myself, the same way I thought Puff Daddy had done. Fun fact: I can become spiteful when I am hurt. I’ve learned that about myself, and it’s not pretty. I really have wasted the wrath of God on a lot of unnecessary things that I should never have allowed to bother me. So that Friday night, after I get off stage from the first of two shows we have at the Miami Improv, in the cramped green room, Will turns the camera on and tells me to start talking. I began a comedic rant about Puff Daddy and every artist he has ever signed to his label. I didn’t struggle with trying to find the words to say how I felt. The thoughts and feelings had been festering for a while. I was upset to find out that the person who was responsible for creating some of the songs that were the soundtrack for special moments in my life could possibly be considered a tyrant. I didn’t think anything of it when Will called me to let me know that he was going to upload the video to YouTube. We decided to call the video “Puffy is Poison” and sent it out into the world, not having a clue as to what would happen. I didn’t think anyone would see it, but boy, was I wrong about that. In less than an hour, the video received over 30,000 views. That was a lot in 2008. Just for reference, your representation will drop you if you have a certain amount of followers and your video doesn’t receive more than 30,000 views within the first fifteen minutes. The video was on everybody’s radar, including Puff Daddy’s. I remember that somebody I knew who worked for Bad Boy Records told me that Puff Daddy was angry about the video. That actually gave me butterflies. I didn’t know what would happen next.
“In the past few days, I have fallen out with several close friends in a very passive-aggressive way, and it’s bothering me. I’ve been playing music all day to keep my spirit calm. Music helps me from becoming overwhelmed and disruptive. As I write this, a young lady who sounds a little like Amy Winehouse comes on my Spotify playlist, and it makes me sad, because I wish it were Amy Winehouse. I miss Amy Winehouse so much. I’ll save the reason behind why I love her so much for her for another day. Back to the blog.”
Well, Puff Daddy was so angry that he made a rebuttal video. It’s called “Diddy Blog #10,” and, without saying my name directly because he’s smart, he talks about somebody who made a video and said that my lips were chapped and that I was broke and I was never going to make it. It was all surface stuff because I wasn’t known enough for him to have anything personal to attack me with. He was so angry that he continued to make more videos after that one to attack me, and he enlisted the help of comedians that I’m funnier than on my worst day to help him. I thought that was just poor sportsmanship.
Gossip websites started using the title “Puffy is Poison” for articles they wanted to run when they were out to make Puffy the bad guy. I’m not even going to say what those publications were, but one in particular used it at least three or four times and never gave me credit for it. I hate gossip websites. I couldn’t understand the success of the video or how to capitalize off of it. All of it was very overwhelming. I was being asked to be on radio shows and do comedy performances, all because I roasted my hero. I never agreed to do any of the comedy performances. I didn’t want to rise to fame off the efforts of tearing down somebody I once admired. I garnered loyal fans because they agreed with my point of view, and they’ve supported me ever since. That’s good enough for me.
Over the years, the video has received over 20 million views, and it’s something that I’m known for. Will and I attempted to recreate lightning in a bottle by making more videos attacking Puffy, but they didn’t get the same response. To this day, I still haven’t run into Puff Daddy. I’m not sure how he would react if we ever met, but I would like to apologize to him for being mad at him for letting me down as my role model. If the things he’s accused of are true, that’s sad and unfortunate, but I should not have allowed my anger to push me to a point where I had my emotions captured in such a negative way. It’s hard to separate the artist from the person. I do want to thank Puff Daddy for contributing to the hustle I have. Even now when I see old videos of Diddy when he was starting out, I get excited. That’s why I can’t stop and won’t stop writing, creating, and telling jokes. Take that, take that.
I write as a form of healing for myself and others. If you enjoyed what you read, you can “tip the writer” at Venmo or Zelle @maronziovance